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Schneid Remarks 7/22/21

I was having an in-depth discussion with a long-lost friend of mine the other day.
We were talking about goofy things which people probably scratch their head about for hours.
He showed me a website which includes many of these wild realizations people have on Here are some of my favorites to get your brain waves working…
"The best part of a cucumber tastes like the worst part of a watermelon.” I personally don’t agree with this one.
"Drinking water with a minty mouth is the cold version of spicy."
"I have seen more of the surface of the Moon with my own eyes than I have of Earth."
"At special occasions, girls with curly hair straighten it and girls with straight hair curl it."
"There is no physical evidence to say that today is Wednesday, we all just have to trust that someone has kept count since the first one ever."
"At the age of 60, Snoop Dogg will be 420 in dog years."
"The first person who inhaled helium must have been so relieved when the effects wore off."
"Pets are the one-percenters of animals."
"When medication says 'do not operate heavy machinery,' they're probably mainly referring to cars, but my mind always goes to a forklift."
"College students are simultaneously stereotyped for not getting enough sleep and for sleeping all the time."
"When we're young, we sneak out of our houses to go to parties. When we're old, we sneak out of parties to go home."
"You know you've reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner."
"An underrated perk of being an adult is you no longer outgrow your clothes, or do you?
"Making a typo in an online argument is the equivalent of voice cracking in a verbal argument."
"I hate to spend $6.50 on six pieces of raw chicken, but don't hesitate to spend $5 on one chicken sandwich."
"If you drive a new car, you are rich. If you drive an old car, you are poor. But if you drive a super old car, you are super rich."
"If your identical twin got plastic surgery, it would be hard not to feel a little insulted."
"Technically, almost every mirror you buy at a store is in used condition."
"It's crazy that something like a Walmart gift card is printed on plastic, but my social security card is printed on the flimsiest piece of paper I've ever handled."
"The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf."
"It's always easy to fall asleep on a couch unless you're actually trying to fall asleep on a couch."